8/27/2015

Its been awhile....


It's been awhile since I posted anything here. Almost a month and a half to be exact. So....where have I been? Basically, I have been muddling my way through each and every day. Sounds so wonderful eh? I've been working my average Jane job of 8am until 4pm Monday through Friday banging my head on my desk because I never feel as if I have enough to do and that I am not using my skills and pushing my potential to the limits.

I have also been dealing with my 5 year old son who, now don't get me wrong I love my child but.... he has been driving me absolutely bonkers and where on earth do these children develop their little attitudes from because I haven't a clue and nor have I been raising him to be a little turd. He started Kindergarten on Monday which was awesome because it gives him an outlet for his massive amounts of energy and puts him with other children his own age instead of around all of the adults like normal.

My red hair went bye bye and was a brown with a small tint of red. That didn't last. It didn't feel like me and my friends didn't think so either so back to the red I went (with a small hiccup) but it is brighter and redder now. And alas, I have been sitting around playing World of Warcraft and attempting to figure out who I am like many other people on this planet do daily. Who. Am. I? I have been asking myself this question for quite awhile now and haven't come up with any answers. Basically I feel as if my life does not have any substance to it. Can you relate to that? I am a mother, yes but that does not define me and nor do I want it to define me as an individual. I love being a mother but there is more to me and life and I need that more. I am an office manager. Ok, that's good and I am grateful and very happy to have a job but it's not a satisfying eight hours a day. I am a daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, cousin, etc to many people that I all cherish and am very fond of and wouldn't want to not be any one of those things to them.

But......the question still remains, WHO AM I and what will make me HAPPY? What are my passions in life? My hobbies? That something that makes me me and I am known for? I haven't a clue and it is seriously driving me nuts. I need that substance in my life that is another piece to my puzzle of life. I am however, comforted by the fact that I am not alone in feeling this way. Many people out there, maybe you who is reading this as well, feel the same exact way and even if it sucks feeling this way it is nice knowing that I am not alone.

I wonder if maybe I were to write down a list of all the things that I have dabbled in, like blogging, YouTube, etc., if maybe that would help me find what I truly love to do and is possibly what I am looking for. If you who is reading this has ever felt this way and has any tips and advice I would love to read them in the comments. I've never been really big on self help books but if you have a really good recommendation for one leave the title of that too and I will check it out. Some reading this might say something like "Pity party for one" to this post but I say, "No. I am just merely expressing the thoughts running through my head, what I have been dealing with and asking for advice." I would rather party than pity any day but we all need a little bit of advice and help some days.

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